First post, ever. Hi? I’m B. I like long walks to the wine section in Publix, binging on Netflix, and I have an unhealthy obsession with makeup. Why am I starting a blog? I’m not sure. What I am sure of, however, is the level in which I am so done with how static my life has become in all areas. My mother would say in her thick-ass southern accent, “now honey, if you don’t like something, change it.” To which I’d reply, “it’s not that easy,” with an eye-roll to boot. But, newsflash to irrational me throwing the pity party, it actually is. Sincerely, rational self. Someone very close to me ripped my heart out and stomped all over it recently, leaving behind a flattened, mushy scarlet heap of sadness, self-loathing, and hopelessness. After many nights of crying to my roommate over and over and asking myself why, I started to realize how much of a blessing it was. This person didn’t treat me right, at least not consistently. They were unfaithful numerous times (why’d I keep taking them back? I know) and they always seemed to result to anger in tough times, and un-tough times at that. No matter how patient and understanding I was, nothing I did ever seemed to put out the fire. As I sat back and really thought to myself, I realized just how much I had given to them and how much I had got back. It was an uneven scale of effort. I let how much I love them cloud the realization that I wasn’t being treated how I should’ve been, and I deserved someone better. If you’re always the one fighting for the other person to stay in your life, or to make them happy, let them go. (SIDENOTE: Google “Madea – let them go” video, you will not be disappointed.) The people who are meant to stay in your life will find a way. Those who aren’t, leave, and you need to hold the door open for them. Life is too short, yada yada. God has a plan. You are not the maker of the plan. Let go and trust in the process.
I think creativity is the best outlet, so I am going to splatter my personality, thoughts, creations, and discoveries all over this blog as I grow into a better me this year. Hashtag new year, new me. Just kidding. But not. I don’t know if anyone will actually read this, but if by chance you take interest in what I post, then grab a cup of coffee (or tea for you odd humans who don’t indulge in that magic) and pull up a seat because this should be interesting. Or weird. Or both. Whatever.